Listen ladies and gents, we’ve all heard the stories. Somewhere along the line a woman has come along and shattered your hopes and dreams of a happily ever after. At some point she gave up trying to satisfy her needs at home so she took to the universe to send her another more aware of the attention she was craving. It happens to the best of us.
First and foremost, pay attention to her. I know this sounds so easy and many men are probably thinking, “I do!” But do you really? The last time she was talking did you look away from the TV or phone to devote your full attention to her or did you “uh huh” her to death until she realized (or didn’t) that you weren’t really paying attention? This minuscule yet important difference means the world to your significant other (SO). Making eye contact and giving someone our full attention makes the person feel validated and important. Looking at something else makes us feel like there’s somewhere else you’d rather be. Try these other tips to give her your full attention:
- Look into her eyes, not the phone or TV;
- Pause at a commercial to talk, not flip to another channel to fill in commercial space;
- Just hold her. This is much different than sitting next to her and touching.
That leads us to our next motivator. Touch her. Not just when you’re fired up, but everyday in small ways. While you’re walking by her in the hallway, for instance, touch her hand, hip, anywhere really. If your wife is like most women, she’s been cleaning up the house, taking care of kids, pets, going to work, trying to get laundry done, or get dinner on the table. A simple acknowledgement by you would remind her why she chose to spend her time with you. You never know where that could lead to. So,
- Touch her as you’re passing in the hallway;
- Graze her hand or hip;
- Hug her.
Last but certainly not least, show your gratitude for all she does. If she likes tea or coffee, bring her a cup while you get yourself a snack. Or better yet, go out of your way to show your appreciation. Is she a student or professional who works a lot from home? Nothing feels better than having uninterrupted time and, POOF! Tea is made and ready to drink without having to break her train of thought. Is she relaxing after a long day? Even better. Just don’t make her do it— that’s the goal.
Thank her for what she does. If she pays half the rent or mortgage, tell her how much you appreciate it. Not all women pay for their roof. Show your gratitude for her efforts and love her for being your partner. Some simple ways of acknowledging her contribution are:
- Thank her for doing the dishes and/or for cooking;
- Do little things for her that she appreciates like bring her tea or coffee;
- Clean up after yourself. Load the dishwasher or simply bring your dish to the sink. Something is better than nothing;
- If she loves gifts, make a habit of getting her something small every week. This can be flowers, a snickers, a Dollar Tree yoyo— get creative;
- Consider reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. That kind of effort will leave her giddy for hours.
All in all your woman just wants to feel loved. She wants to feel like she’s an essential part of your life. Lots of people assume that their wives will always be there. They take her presence for granted not intentionally (I hope), but because life happens and if you’re a rockstar partner, you’ve been on your grind trying to build a better future for your family. What’s important to remember, however, is that the future is built on the foundation of the present. So hold your girl at night— idgaf if your arm hurts. Find another position. Don’t forget to take what little time you have to ensure your relationship stays strong and your love is happy.