Have you ever felt like you were tired of your own bullshit? That moment of revelation when you recognize the negative patterns in your life and finally begin take responsibility for it? If not, there’s hope for you. Our come-to-jesus moments happen at different stages in our lives. Until then we cope with our own bs in hopes that the pain disappears, or at least becomes a dull ache we learn to live with.
When you’re broken the pieces are shattered glass. The jagged edges can cut the soul, leaving you wounded and wanting. You do your best to keep it together, to smile through cracked skin, to hold the shape in place until no one is looking. You don’t dare touch the pieces; it’s too sharp. The scab is always trying to heal.
To avoid pricking your finger, you deflect and point it at someone else. Someone that mirrors qualities you hate in yourself, or someone that you envy. Take out the pain on the people closest to you, who will ask that you try and touch the stabbing edges of your broken self to piece it back together. But we build a callus instead, become numb to the snags of day to day life until we just can’t anymore.
Being broken is a wound that refuses to heal. Until we’re ready to suffer through the scrapes and stings of our own shards, the flesh remains tender. Forcing the pieces together will lead to bloody hands. This is why it’s important to be gentle with yourself, to smooth out the edges, carefully shape it to press delicately to the next.
The best thing about being broken is that you have the ability to build yourself up to whatever form suits you. All that’s required is for you to pick up the shattered pieces of yourself. This requires you to dig deep, to be consistent in addressing issues that are and are not your fault. It means acknowledging reality, taking responsibility, apologizing— all that fun stuff no one likes to do.
It means forgiving yourself for your shortcomings and forgiving others for theirs. It means trying every day to be a better person, to keep your reactions in check, to stop blaming others for the drama in your life.
It means setting boundaries for peoples. It means sticking to those boundaries no matter how badly it hurts to let someone go for crossing the line. Some people live their whole lives pissing people off and that’s their path. The only person you have the ability to fix is you. Heal together or heal alone, just make sure you’re healing.
Realize no one is perfect. We all have scars—some of us more visible than others. The important thing is that we stay on our grind everyday to heal the past and lay the foundation for the future. The only time you’ll fail is if you give up. And alls we got is time…
The only place to start is at the beginning. How gently you decide to do that is at your discretion. But keep in mind all the consequences of haphazardly playing with sharp objects. Proceed with caution.
For more helpful tips, be sure to check out my post Reflection.